by - March 02, 2015

Fiona Apple has been a favorite of mine since I was in high school... maybe even junior high. From the very beginning, with songs like Criminal and Shadowboxer, I felt things when I listed to her music. I felt connected to the lyrics and the emotion behind them. When The Idler Wheel Is Wiser than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More than Ropes Will Ever Do was released, it had been a long time since I'd really listened to Fiona because it had been a long time since she'd released new music. Even though she'd fallen off my radar somewhat, I knew as soon as I listened to this album that it was likely going to become one of my favorites of all time.

Music has always been an emotional thing for me, I've always been drawn to music that I feel like I connect to, whether there's just a feeling in the musical composition or, more often, if I feel touched by the lyrics. I often say that I love music that feels like it's written and performed by women, rather than girls, and I've always felt like I connected with Fiona as a woman with shared emotional experiences. Maybe I have no idea what she's actually writing about, what she's been through, because I don't actually know her... but I don't have to in order to feel like we share a secret. Know what I mean? I feel like that's the draw for all fans of Fiona... somehow we all feel like she knows our secrets and it's okay, because they're her secrets too.

From where I'm standing, this song is about anxiety and strength. Again, maybe I'm projecting my own experiences onto this song, but I feel like I understand every word of it. When the night gets quiet and dark and the anxiety creeps into your brain, twisting your thoughts and your stomach so that you're roiling with it. I feel like I could have written this song. What I love most, though, is that in the end she's not cured of the anxiety... but she's okay and she still wants to experience everything in her life. "Every single night's alright, every single night's a fight, every single night's alright with my brain." That's the thing, I think... It doesn't necessarily go away, but you can find strength to be okay in spite of it and experience an amazing life. Also, I think there's something to be said for feeling your feelings, both the soaringly good ones and the excruciatingly bad ones.

My heart's made of parts of all that's around me
And that's why the devil just can't get around me

If this is your style and you haven't listened to this album... Seriously, go listen to it. Buy it on iTunes. Bask in it. Like I said, this is one of my all time favorite albums and she's one of my all time favorite artists.... Wish she'd put out another new album.

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